First off, this review contains a
certain amount of spoilers and a
ridiculous way to describe the movie,
so be aware ye, you guys.
We start with a Steve Rogers more
adapted to the modern world, and when
in action, he’s shown more brutal to
fight his enemies, compared with the
way he fought in the previous movie.
Even so, our dear Captain is still a good
guy, and for those who cried at the end
of “The First Avenger” when he wakes up
waaaaaaay late for his dance with Peggy,
don’t worry, she gets a visit from the
hero and make you remember of the
final scene at the Titanic movie.
The captain has practically lost his girl
and now he’s looking for a new love, and
who helps him to give the next step? Our
dear Natasha Romanoff, where the
shipping can now start, since she seems
to want to help him, but in some scenes,
when they are being chased by
S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, she asks him to take
her hands, laugh, kiss her, grab her ass,
take off the clothes and get laid. Well.
Those 3 last things were what I thought
it was going to make the circle complete.
And why not? After having watched
“Her”, where Scarlett Johansson voice-
acted as Samantha as the A.I. -where she
did the heck of a good damn job-, now
I’ll never see Scarlett the same way, and
her acting in “The Winter Soldier” is not
so much different from the other movie.
And talking about technology, both
Steve and Natasha uncoded secret files
from a S.H.I.EL.D.’s flash drive where
else but in a Mac computer at a Mac
sotre, where it’s shown what kind of
forever alone employees work there.
Enough of Natasha and her new hair
style. Let’s don’t forget about Nick Fury
and Sam, where if you paid attention,
they are victims of subjective racism as
they are ignored, targets to be killed or
people that no one else knows.
There is this moment where Fury is
attacked by a bunch of donnut-eater
cops that obviously admire Robert
Patrick as the bad guy in Terminator 2
for the way they attacked him. After this,
we get a scene where he drives his
stupidly technologic car as he’s chased
by a group of patrol cars, giving us a 5-
minute scene better than the “Need for
Speed” movie could have given to us.
Thousand of cops can’t get him, but one
guy, with a single shot does it, and at the
moment of the coup de grâce, Fury uses
some sort of lightsaber able to make a
whole hole big and long enough to run
away. So much effort for nothing…
***TOP CLASS SPOILER*** …in the end,
Nick Fury dies. Everyone is sad. Now
what? He will be replaced by David
Hasselhoff? Oh God, no, that would be
Meanwhile, at S.H.I.E.L.D., we got a
Robert Redford playing as Alexander
Pierce in front of holograms of the
members of World Security Council, a
scene pretty similar to the council from
Star Wars where Yoda and other Jedi
masters gathered to talk about stuff,
which shouldn’t surprise us, since both
Star Wars and Marvel rights belong to
Disney now, so they can do whatever
they desire with them, and much more.
Goddamn these magic comunists…
Now, I don’t know how they manage the
money, but no insurance company will
ever firm a contract with S.H.I.E.L.D.,
since they lose an helicarrier every week,
wheter by enemies or by their own
members, like Captain America, who was
able to take down a whole airship with
his very shield (pretty ironic).
And talking about irony, why the heck
did S.H.I.E.L.D. let Arnim Zola’s mind
lived in a million of Commodores 64? Oh
yeah, his great mind will be of big help
to defeat the nazis and other terrorists,
let’s trust him, sure, after all, he ain’t no
longer the enemy. He didn’t only became
HAL’s relative, but attemted to end with
Captain’s life with an “out of time” joke
at the end, proving how evil he was.
One would think “welp, that was the last
HYDRA’s head, now we can rest”.
MISTAKE. ***TOP CLASS SPOILER***
Even if Robert Redford turned out not to
be Redskull (another big irony), we still
have Baron Von Strucker, who somehow
got Loki’s scepter -that thing again?- who
talks about an era of miracles while we
see Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver as his
prisoners. Really? Using Loki’s magic
wand to create mutants? MUTANTS? And
call it a miracle? Just to remember,
Marvel is Disney’s now, so failures are
Laughter, flying fists all over around,
secrets, deaths, doubts, dead people still
alive, many people die, awesome effects,
and a Captain America wearing a suit
WAY BETTER than the one he used in last
“The Avengers” movie.
3.5 out of 5 stars for a movie which
reason of subtitle is actually sent to like
5th plane, since S.H.I.E.L.D., HYDRA and
Fury are the most touched topics there.
First off, this review contains a